I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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