If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
