dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize