What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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