I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
