have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
found the other keg... it's in the tree
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
