9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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