can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
