Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
