I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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