bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
