College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
