so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
