i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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