He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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