Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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