matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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