you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
