if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
