I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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