are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
