help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
