She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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