can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
