I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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