I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
