She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
