Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
