i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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