i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
