I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I love you.
Bad choice
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
