i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
