Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
