whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
