My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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