Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
