i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
