Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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