my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
