I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
