Can i not drive my cunt home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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