just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
