his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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