She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
