She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
