Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
