You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
