i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
