Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i think my cat just said my name.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
