I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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