There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
