Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
vagina is talking i cant
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
