I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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