It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
