so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
operation have a gay friend backfired
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
