We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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